// fuck//

• just when you think things are starting to get better it all comes crashing down again.. i’m sorry, i really am but i don’t deserve this. i didn’t do anything wrong to you. i can’t help what i feel, and i sure as hell can’t help the fact that it won’t work. 
• i miss you, and with grad coming up its going to be hard to know that you cant be with me because instead you got tortured and demolished rather than being able to watch as i grow. it all doesn’t feel real, it never will. i cant believe the way people can turn into monsters towards the ones they love
• you’re not a real friend, you’re a friend that’s there when you need it. when have you ever stopped to ask if i was okay? never, you’ve only talked to me when you were upset, but yet i go out of my way to make sure you have someone always there for you. you’re never going to realize how you act towards the people who care about you, and as much as you complain you don’t even see all the good that you’re actually presented with
• when’s the last time you have had a conversation with me that’s lasted over ten minutes? when’s the last time you’ve even tried to do something for my benefit. sounds selfish, but it’s not. i have done so much for you, and all i ask is for some appreciation in return. you never acknowledge the fact that i try so hard, and for a kid that’s only 17 i should not have to be doing so much. its so fucking hard to be put in this situation, i wish you would realize what you’re doing to me and my feelings towards you. you dont think about anyone except for him, and whatever he wants, oh you make sure he gets it.